Dear Macaulay Culkin…

Yesterday Macaulay Culkin got dumped by his girlfriend Mila Kunis and the whole world collectively said “she was dating him?!”  Amazingly enough, yes.  For 7 years.

Macaulay Culkin’s face (the creepy adult version, not the adorable 10-year-old version) should be affixed like a warning label to every child acting studio.  Go ahead, take your dumb kid to acting classes and commercial auditions and improv lessons and he may even get the lead role in a blockbuster movie and attain worldwide fame by age 11 but just watch out because before you know it he’s pushing 30, making a cameo appearance on WWE Raw at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis* and only trending on twitter because he got dumped by the chick from That 70’s Show.  Yeah, much better plan than “let him play outside like a normal kid”.

* The WWE Raw thing is the last credit listed for Macaulay on Wikipedia.  Seriously.

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