Dear Jessica Simpson…

Classic Jessica Simpson TMI moment on Twitter the other day:

“Thank you Lord for blessing me with a Man that has the perfect Tush. Laying my hands upon it with peace:)”

I don’t know where Jessica learned to pray, but it definitely wasn’t from my first grade teacher at Our Lady’s Christian School, Sister Anne Louis.  That lady really knew her shit.  She had 30 seven-year-olds reciting The Our Father like it was a Barney’s Sing-Along.  First Communion… Confirmation… Twelve years of “Religion” class… not bragging or anything, but I think I’m kind of an expert on things you’re supposed to pray for… and thanking God for a perfect tush is not on the list.

ps.  “Tush”??  Really? Just because you wear mom jeans, doesn’t mean you have to use mom words.

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