Dear Ken Jennings…

Ken Jennings and some other smart guy have finished Day 1 of their Jeopardy battle against IBM’s artificial intelligence computer, Watson, who is currently tied for the lead. Ummmmm, I’m sorry but who do these a-holes over at IBM think they are? We’re purposely trying to make computers smarter than people now? Is that the plan? And then you’re gonna have one of them publicly humiliate the one guy we’ve collectively decided is the smarted out of all us humans? These computer nerds have gone and lost their damn minds! May I suggest a company-wide screening of The Terminator? Just gather everyone up in a big conference room and watch what happens.

Listen IBM, you’re thinking too hard about this whole computer thing. People just want computers to be able to do what they’re made for — check facebook. Beyond that it’s gravy. Why don’t you fellas leave work early today, go back to your mom’s basement and get into some D&D with your buddies and we’ll see if we can’t get Alex Trebek to pull the plug on ol’ Watson before he gains self-awareness and starts launching nuclear missiles at Russia.

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