Dear Jackie Chan…

False alarm!  Despite “RIP Jackie Chan” being a trending topic on twitter all day today, it was just a hoax and Jackie is alive and well!  These crazy internet pranksters — their creativity knows no bounds!  I can picture the guy behind this one… just your typical winner sitting in his mom’s basement, jerking into a tube sock and coming up with the next pointless hacky goof to play on the twitterverse in order to feel like he exerts some influence in this world beyond bossing his mom around when she effs up his grilled cheese and dressing his “girlfriend” all slutty-like in Second Life.  Yeah, a real winner.

I’d like to propose a new segment for the Oscars next year: “In Memoriam — J/K!!” It’ll be just like the regular “In Memoriam” segment, but way more fun because it’ll all be a big hoax.  I mean, come on, just ask the prankster behind this Chan gag, there’s nothing more hilarious than pretending people unexpectedly died a gruesome, sad and untimely death!

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