Dear Kirstie Alley…

Kirstie Alley is currently competing on Dancing With the Stars and in totally shocking news — I’m not watching.  I pretty much exclusively watch shitty reality television, so the fact that I’ve saved myself these three (really?) hours a week is highly uncharacteristic.  Maybe I’m finally growing up?  Maybe my tastes are at last becoming a little more sophisticated?  I’ll noodle over those questions after I get done powering through the two saved episodes of The Real Housewives of Orange County and one Jersey Shore Reunion that I’ve got on my DVR.

So Kirstie rumba’d her ass all the way down to the floor… big whoop!  That’s what happens when you put a Jose Conseco-sized woman in 4” heels and tell her to spin around in circles.  My thoughts go out to any small bugs or mites that may have been in her way when she came tumbling down, as well as the hard working men and women who will undoubtedly be sanding and shellacking that floor for the next 24 hours to get the giant dent out of it.

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