Dear Ryan Reynolds…

Is there anything more annoying than finding out that an ex is in love, thriving, and happy? Yes: add “having a baby with an Oscar-winning actor.” Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson were married for 2 years, only separating in December, and last weekend she moved in with her new boyfriend Sean Penn. To make matters worse, by all accounts (except for those of her publicist, agent and all professional representation) she’s pregnant! Honestly, the latest image of Scarlett is so telling, it may as well be a sonogram:

That’s a knocked up chick if I’ve ever seen one. So what’s Ryan Reynolds to do? Mope? Bury himself in Cadbury Eggs, Mint Milanos and Sex & The City marathons on E! (my go to moves)? As Charlotte told Carrie just last night on a episode when she was bummed out about one of her many break ups with Big, it takes half the length of time you were with someone to get overhim (or her, presumably). Sooooo, in Ryan’s case he should ignore that math and just call me asap. Although I’m off the market (and in love and thriving and happy — ahem, hellooooo! to any of my exes who happen to be reading this) I’ve got plenty of friends I’d love to set him up with!

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One Response to “Dear Ryan Reynolds…”

  1. Bill says:

    You can practically make out that baby’s face.