Back in February, eccentric British fashion designer John Galliano was arrested in France for making come crazy anti-Semitic comments in a bar. He went to court yesterday and tried to blame it on being drunk. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve used total wastedness as an excuse for a lot of things: making out with a homeless dude (“but guys, he’s soooooo hot!”), sending several regrettable drunk texts that included the line “you’re my soulmate”, and even mistaking the crisper drawer in my fridge for a toilet (true story. I wiped with broccoli)… but never have I referenced Hitler in a positive light or ranted about the supremacy of the Aryan race. You know why? Because although I have questionable decision-making skills and a low alcohol tolerance, I’m not a racist asshole. John, next time you’re about to open your mouth, try sucking face with a dirty shoeless man whose house is a shopping cart — much better plan.