Dear Celine…

A man broke into Celine Dion’s home the other day.  He didn’t steal anything — why would he?  If you’re in Celine Dion’s home there’s waaaaay cooler stuff to do than swipe some boring old jewelry or lame Platinum records.  For example:  take a bath and eat some pastries.  Let’s face it, Celine’s probably got a killer bathtub.  I’m sure there are fancy water jets involved, definitely bubbles and most likely four bear paw feet holding the whole thing up.  If I could think of one person in the WORLD who’s gonna have a kick ass fucking bath tub, it’s definitely Celine Dion.  But the intruder didn’t stop there.  He took the time to really pamper himself and grabbed some pastries from the kitchen.  Again, I’ve got to image her pastries are pretty fab — not the week old box of Entemann’s us mere mortals have laying around.  This is Celine Dion we’re talking about.  First of all, she’s basically French, right? (the Canadian version of French at least?) and the French invented pastries (croissant, anyone?).  And secondly, have you seen her husband?  That’s a waistline that enjoys some freaking donuts.

In conclusion, WTG, intruder!  You nailed it!!!

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One Response to “Dear Celine…”

  1. Deborah says:

    This totally reminds me of that movie Far and Away.