Earlier this month Ben & Jerry’s launched a flavor called “Schweddy Balls”, inspired by one of the best SNL sketches of all time starring Alec Baldwin. Grumpy, no-fun moms everywhere are boycotting the flavor because they don’t like what Ben & Jerry have named it. Hey moms of America, we haven’t liked what you gals have been naming your kids for years now, so until I stop seeing “names” like these* popping up on Toddlers & Tiaras, you can all shut your pie holes:
Saryniti
Baylen
Kaleigha
Sparkal
Makynli
Essence
Bayleigh
Kragan
And for the record, it’s vanilla ice cream mixed with a hint of rum, fudge covered rum balls, and milk chocolate malt balls that we’re talking about here, not annoying 3-year-old prima donnas. You can call this ice cream “Shit in a Pint Container” and I’d still rather spend my afternoon getting brain freeze than hanging with your little princess.
* No shit, I didn’t make a single one of those up. Child protective services should be watching more TLC — it oughta be a crime to name your kid a misspelling.
Tags: Alec baldwin, bad names, boycott, ice cream, schweddy balls, SNL, Toddlers & Tiaras







Another gem of a post! Keep up the good work! How does one sign up to get email notifications when you post?
Thank you!!! Now the mailing list, that’s something I haven’t quite worked out
I’m working on it thought! If you add your email here: http://julialillis.wufoo.com/forms/z7x4m1/ I’ll make sure you get on the list once it’s started!
Thanks again, Tom!