Mad props to Snoop Dogg for the track he just dropped!!! (I have literally never used half of the words in that sentence in that context before. How did I do?)
The royal family has asked Snoop to perform at Prince William’s engagement party so he wrote a song just for the occasion and released it yesterday. I know exactly how this happened… that wily Prince Harry came in to see the Queen and was like “grandmumum, could we have a dog perform at William’s paahty? He’s quite brilliant, my favorite dog in fact… wouldn’t you like to see a lovely dog from America perform at the paahty grandmumum??”
She’s gonna show up to this engagement party expecting to see a juggling schnauzer and get this instead:
Willie Nelson was arrested for pot possession over the holiday weekend. That’s the second time this year, plus he’s been busted for moonshine and shrooms in the past. Moonshine. I honestly didn’t even know that was a real thing. And shrooms! How “senior year of high school” of you, Willie!
Now I’m not a big pot head. I mean, I have a prescription for it and everything, but I live in California. Having a medical marijuana card is like having a drivers license (only, when you get pulled over make sure you pull out the license, not the pot card).
I think Willie needs to park his tour bus in sunny CA and let his fans come to him. First of all, pot is legal here; and secondly, he’s 77! When I’m closing in on 80, if I happen to be an iconic pot head country singer-songwriter with legions of dedicated fans, mark my words, I’ll find a nice plot of land near the beach, sit back with my guitar and a joint and let my fans flock to me!
So, for my mom who still seems to think I have no “plan” for my life, there you go: become an octogenarian stoner country singer on the beaches of Malibu. It’s a long way from Supreme Court Justice but I think I think I missed that bus long ago (like somewhere around senior year of high school — they tend to frown on fun-loving shroom stories in the nation’s high court).