Archive for the ‘Legendary Pot Head’ Category

Dear Snoop Dogg…

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

Mad props to Snoop Dogg for the track he just dropped!!! (I have literally never used half of the words in that sentence in that context before.  How did I do?)

The royal family has asked Snoop to perform at Prince William’s engagement party so he wrote a song just for the occasion and released it yesterday.  I know exactly how this happened… that wily Prince Harry came in to see the Queen and was like “grandmumum, could we have a dog perform at William’s paahty?  He’s quite brilliant, my favorite dog in fact… wouldn’t you like to see a lovely dog from America perform at the paahty grandmumum??”

She’s gonna show up to this engagement party expecting to see a juggling schnauzer and get this instead:

PS. Bring your green hat!

Dear Willie Nelson…

Monday, November 29th, 2010

Willie Nelson was arrested for pot possession over the holiday weekend.  That’s the second time this year, plus he’s been busted for moonshine and shrooms in the past.  Moonshine.  I honestly didn’t even know that was a real thing.  And shrooms!  How “senior year of high school” of you, Willie!

Now I’m not a big pot head.  I mean, I have a prescription for it and everything, but I live in California.  Having a medical marijuana card is like having a drivers license (only, when you get pulled over make sure you pull out the license, not the pot card).

I think Willie needs to park his tour bus in sunny CA and let his fans come to him.  First of all, pot is legal here; and secondly, he’s 77!  When I’m closing in on 80, if I happen to be an iconic pot head country singer-songwriter with legions of dedicated fans, mark my words, I’ll find a nice plot of land near the beach, sit back with my guitar and a joint and let my fans flock to me!

So, for my mom who still seems to think I have no “plan” for my life, there you go: become an octogenarian stoner country singer on the beaches of Malibu.  It’s a long way from Supreme Court Justice but I think I think I missed that bus long ago (like somewhere around senior year of high school — they tend to frown on fun-loving shroom stories in the nation’s high court).