Posts Tagged ‘Anderson Cooper’

Dear Bradley Cooper…

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

I honestly can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog for a whole year now and have never once written to Bradley Cooper.  I’ve written to Anderson Cooper (twice) which is kinda the same thing since they’re both sexpots with great hair and piercing blue eyes who speak French (I know Bradley speaks French and I’m just assuming Anderson does because he’s a Vanderbilt and went to Yale and is gay.  You find me a gay guy who’s an Ivy League alum from a famous rich fam who doesn’t speak French and I’ll go ahead and throw this stereotype of my mine in the recycling bin, but until then, it stays.)

Bon travail, mon ami Bradley!!


Dear Anderson Cooper…

Friday, August 19th, 2011

I’m sure you guys have all heard about how (a much fatter and older than I remembered) Gerard Depardieu pissed on a plane on Tuesday night — not in the bathroom, mind you — in the aisle. Let’s just agree right up front that that story is fantastic.  How does something like that get better?…  ADD ANDERSON COOPER!

Here’s a list of things I love:
- foreigners doing weird shit
- poop jokes
- Youtube clips live newscasts where someone on the air swears/barfs/falls/laughs uncontrollably

Can you say HAT TRICK?!  Watch and enjoy… (the giggling really takes off around the 2:30 mark).  And when you’re done with Mr. Gigglepants, do yourself a favor and watch the links above.  You’re welcome!!

Dear Anderson Cooper…

Thursday, February 3rd, 2011

CNN News Anchor/silver fox/gay icon/former host of ABC’s The Mole (bet you forgot about that, huh?) and all around great guy Anderson Cooper was reporting from Cairo yesterday and kinda got his ass kicked!!!! I use so many exclamation points there because this whole time I was under the impression that Anderson Cooper was a bad ass. He’s in shape; he’s youngish and spry; he’s the type of person I would expect to know an obscure martial art like Polynesian stick fighting or some secret Israeli* hand-to-hand combat technique.  Apparently not, because some Egyptians kicked the shit out of him yesterday afternoon.

Listen Egypt, I feel for you… it’s hot out, you have no internet, everyone is angry all the time and your leader is an ass… your entire existence is like every summer I spent at sleep-away camp as a kid, so I totally feel your pain, but let’s not take it out on American treasures like Anderson Cooper! Just hunker down and make some friendship bracelets or a popsicle stick birdcage and it’ll all be over before you know it.

* Why do all Jewish guys think they know Krav Magra? Just because you had a Bar Mitzvah does not make you an Israeli assassin.