Posts Tagged ‘Anne Hathaway’

Dear Anne Hathaway…

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

I get it, she’s in a big movie… (that looks amazing and I’m seeing it and I already know all the words to all the songs because I saw Les Mis on a school trip in 6th grade and most of the songs have never left my head and I even used them to audition for every musical in high school — “I have a castle on a cloud…” was my go to — I never got cast in a single play (thanks Mr. G!) but I don’t hold that against the songs, they weren’t really in my range, and I’m sure Anne kills them all, so in short, yeah can’t wait to see her big fancy movie)… but do we have to see her on the cover of EVERY magazine? EVERY late night show? EVERY city’s red carpet event? Seeing EVERY inch of her body?

No seriously. She just showed the one last remaining inch that hadn’t been seen in any of the aforementioned venues; just plopped it out there while exiting a car at a red carpet. See for yourself (NSFW version)…

    

Dear James Franco…

Friday, February 25th, 2011

I can’t figure out why Dos Equis hasn’t replaced that old guy who plays the most interesting man in the world with the actual most interesting man in the world: James Franco. Sure he’s a famous movie star and yes he’s getting his PhD at Yale, but he’s also a recurring character on General Hospital. Ummm, that’s interesting. I’ve spent way too much time thinking about what would motivate him to do this and all I can come up with is that he wants to bang housewives in their 50’s. That’s who’s watching General Hospital, right? This is the ONE demographic he wasn’t able to reach with projects like Freaks and Geeks, Milk or the Spiderman Trilogy. He could have anyone he wanted… college chicks… porn stars… models… gay men; he could’ve had any of them!  But it’s just like an interesting man like this to be into the one demographic that was paying him no love: menopausal ladies. If you think my theory holds no water, ask yourself what film he did just after he started popping up in the hospitals of Port Charles… Eat, Pray, Love! Case closed. Let’s just say I wouldn’t put money on Annette Benning to take home an Oscar, but I’m guessing her host will have a consolation prize for her in the way of face suckage.

PS. You think we could lobby to get the term switched to “he’s a real James of all trades”…?!