Posts Tagged ‘broke’

Dear Lindsay Lohan…

Monday, December 17th, 2012

Super broke former actress Lindsay Lohan is offering to show up at weddings, holiday parties, birthday bashes, quinceaneras for a price.  And that price is whatever it costs to buy twice as much alcohol as you were planning on buying because she’s def gonna drain your open bar (and probably hook up with your one “weird” cousin).

I don’t know what she actually does at these parties, but if Herbie Fully Loaded taught us anything, it’s that it’s probably going to be really really terrible.

 

For more Naked Fan Mail to Linds:
Naked Fan Mail
when she signed a deal with Playboy! 10/25/11
Naked Fan Mail
to her brother when he got a real job! 3/2/11
Naked Fan Mail
when she got busted shoplifting! 2/10/11
Naked Fan Mail
when she got out of rehab! 1/3/11
Naked Fan Mail
when she busted out of rehab for a shopping trip! 11/8/10

 

Dear Fifty Cent…

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

Last weekend, rapper/actor/entrepreneur/finance whiz 50 Cent made close to $9 million in a day by tweeting about a penny stock of which he owned 30 million shares which caused his 3.8 million twitter followers to invest in the company and the stock value to rise 290%.  I need to point out that I understand very little of that last sentence because I am a finance-illiterate fool who was once given three (yes three) separate copies of Suze Orman’s book “Young, Broke and Fabulous” on the same birthday by three different people (thanks for the hint, guys!).

Even I, someone who regularly hits single digits in her bank account and has never balanced a check book (people don’t really do that, right?) can see that 50 Cent is doing something right.  My successful friends from college may have their “real jobs” with their “401k’s” and “retirement plans” but now I can tell my dad to quit worrying… I have Fiddy.  In fact, I may just diversify my portfolio and start following Nas and Jay-Z!