I have to admit, I loved every second of that damn wedding. The lacy gown (who says deep-V’s are just for hipsters?!), the wacky-ass hats (how Gaga!), the men in uniform (hellooooo Harry!), the inexplicable trees in the church (wtf?), the little boys singing (keep the pedophiles away!), … I cried like 4 different times. I remember my mom telling me about watching Princess Di’s wedding; she woke up early along with the rest of the world to see the People’s Princess take her vows. Well someday I’ll tell be able to tell my kids that I woke up around 10am the day after Will and Kate’s wedding and watched it hungover on DVR as gay men gave me the play-by-play. My coverage of choice for the big occasion was TLC. I figured any network that can pull off three different versions of Say Yes To The Dress (original, Atlanta, and Big Bliss — for fat chicks!) could do a bang up job covering the wedding of the century and they didn’t let me down. Clinton Kelly offered live commentary in a studio in London with lip readers, body language specialists, wedding experts, gown designers, Ivana Trump (because she’s rich?), Rupert Everett (because he’s been in movies about weddings?) plus color commentators at Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace and (for some reason) Times Square. What a celebration!! Congrats Will and Kate! Although the entire convention of a monarchy seems like a tasteless waste of money and an undemocratic show of unearned power and privilege, I’m sure you guys will make a lovely King and Queen someday!!