Posts Tagged ‘catfight’

Dear NeNe Leakes…

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

SPOILER ALERT (for people who watch extremely popular reality shows 2 days after they air): Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s NeNe Leakes quit Celebrity Apprentice. UGH!!!! Right?? It was a real bummer because she truly was a joy to watch. As I’ve said before on this blog, I think more shows could benefit from the addition of catfights (ie. The CBS Evening News With Katie Couric) and Celebrity Apprentice proves once and for all that I’m a genius and all of my theories about popular culture are pretty much spot on. The constant battle between Star Jones and NeNe Leakes was one for the ages. Years from now, people will look back at this time period and ask (after inquiring about one’s stance on Twilight and late night TV hosts — firmly Teams Edward and Coco, for the record) “Team Nene or Team Star?”… and those of us who are sane enough to see that Star Jones is a horrible, horrible, conniving human being who thinks that just because she’s a lawyer she’s better than everyone (uh, news for you Star Jones, everyone hates lawyers; it’s not impressive — haven’t you seen a movie, like, EVER?… you guys are pretty much always the bad guys and universally reviled, PLUS — and maybe this is an even more important point — I know a lot of really dumb people who went to law school… sooooo, how about you zip yer lip with the whole “I’m a lawyer” B.S.)… we’ll band together and proudly declare: TEAM NENE!!!

Dear Christina Aguilera…

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

Word has leaked that Christina Aguilera got into it with Julianne Hough at a pre-Golden Globes party last weekend. Someone (who hates fun and excitement) broke the fight up before it got out of hand, but if they go at it again here’s my prediction:

Fighting out of the red corner, this girl is a cute little dancer who put out a cute little country album and is now apparently trying to act in some cute little movies.  Weighing in at 85 pounds, fighting out of some miscellaneous southern state: Julianne HOUGH!!!!!!

Fighting out of the blue corner, this woman one of the best selling music artists of all time, a vocal powerhouse and a certified Grammy Award winning diva.  Weighing in at around a buck 75 (it’s baby* weight!), fighting out of a ghetto near Pittsburgh: Christina AGUILERA!!!!!!

Ummmm, Julianne I hope those dancing legs can run!  She weighs twice as much as you PLUS she’s Mexican (or something like that). Run, girl! She will CUT you.

* Her “baby” is like 2 years old now.