Posts Tagged ‘college’

Dear Denzel Washington…

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

Uhm. Spoiler alert?

I saw Flight over the weekend starring Denzel Washington playing a pilot who really likes to party.  Like reeeeaally likes to party.  Like gets trashed the night before, the morning before (and during!) a flight but it’s cool because he takes a hit of coke before flying to straighten him out.

My biggest takeaway from the movie (aside from NEVER EVER feeling comfortable on a flight again) is: THAT’S WHAT COCAINE DOES?!  I’ve never done cocaine. In the movie it’s kinda like… hey look, Denzel is a mess of a human, sloppy and drunk… then he snorts some cocaine and voila!  New man!  Ready to take on the world! Save lives! Testify before the FAA!  If that’s how cocaine works I think I needed some like yesterday.  And last Saturday.  And most weekends throughout college.  Get a new PR firm, cocaine!

 

Dear Emma Watson…

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

Twenty-year-old actress Emma Watson, who plays the bookish Hermoine in the Harry Potter movies, is dropping out of college.  I know what you’re thinking: why would she quit school… right before Spring Break? Insane.  Clearly the girl doesn’t like to party (or binge drink or participate in wet t-shirt contests on the beach or make out with a guy from Penn State  because he told you he was the football mascot — hot!).  Yeah, obviously she’s not into fun stuff.  I, on the other hand, happen to love fun stuff so if anyone is looking for a travel buddy to Cancun, South Padre Island, Panama City or Cabo, lemme know!  I’ll bring the beer bong!