Lindsay Lohan went to court yesterday and plead not guilty to the Felony Grand Theft charge against her for “allegedly” stealing a necklace from a jewelry store in Venice (my hood!). This “allegedly” stuff is bullshit. Unless the word “allegedly” has been redefined as “definitely” then I don’t know why everyone insists on using it in this context.

To court she wore a white skin-tight mini-dress, so basically the only way she could’ve been more inappropriately dressed would be if she wore the necklace she allegedly (read: definitely) stole. The judge did nothing but give her a stern warning and tell her that she was “no different than anyone else”… yeah, anyone else who gets away with stealing a $2500 dollar necklace.

PS. Yes, that fan mail was written on a picture of the actual necklace she stole. And yep, those are little gold handcuffs. And no, I’m not messing with you.

PPS. I wrote this post while watching Toddlers & Tiaras so if any of it doesn’t make sense blame those little vixens in the Ohio Southern Celebrity Pageant.