Posts Tagged ‘duck’

Dear Blake Lively…

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

A bunch of naked cell phone pics of a person who is either Bake Lively or a girl who looks so much like Blake Lively that she should copyright her face and try to get in on those Gossip Girl residuals have recently surfaced and, as is the standard operating procedure here in Hollywood, her reps are denying it’s her.  You guys, we’re not idiots.  You know what they say: if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and flaunts its incomprehensibly perky DD’s like a duck, then you’ve got some seriously F’d up sexual fantasies and need to stay far away from the zoo.  I’m not going to post the actual pictures here because sometimes my dad reads this blog and that’s just gross (but I’ll link to them here <– not for you, dad).

If you read this blog regularly you know I’m something of an “idea person”, check out this one: Blake Lively starts telling everyone the naked pics are of me!  Her name is cleared and she can go on being “that pretty horse-faced girl from Gossip Girl” and I can move forward with my career being known as “that comedian whose naked body is so bangin’ she was once accidentally mistaken for that pretty horse-faced girl from Gossip Girl.”  Talk about a win-win!!

PS. Can you believe what I found when I googled images for “duck with boobs”??!?!?!