Yankees player Alex Rodriguez dumped Cameron Diaz after almost a year of dating because “she was too needy”. Well of course she was needy, she’s slowly watching every decent guy in Hollywood get scooped up. I mean, when Scarlett Johansson starts dating Sean Penn you know the pickins are slim (in related news, they just broke up — surprise surprise!). Over the years my feelings towards Cameron Diaz have been like the waves she’s constantly talking about surfing… sometimes I’m riding high on the “Cameron Diaz is hilarious” crest (My Best Friend’s Wedding) and sometimes I’m drowning in the “how can a person this annoying be this famous” rip tide (everything other than My Best Friend’s Wedding).
According to the crack reporting team over at fitPerez, the couple broke up because Cameron was needy and tried too hard to please him… which is code for “why the hell that bitch gotta feed me popcorn in front of the whole world like that!?” Let’s get real, that popcorn-feeding shot of them during the last Superbowl was curtains for this relationship. For some couples it’s money issues, or lack of communication, or infidelity, but we should never overlook the silent relationship killer: Orville Redenbacher.