Posts Tagged ‘Eat Pray Love’

Dear James Franco…

Friday, February 25th, 2011

I can’t figure out why Dos Equis hasn’t replaced that old guy who plays the most interesting man in the world with the actual most interesting man in the world: James Franco. Sure he’s a famous movie star and yes he’s getting his PhD at Yale, but he’s also a recurring character on General Hospital. Ummm, that’s interesting. I’ve spent way too much time thinking about what would motivate him to do this and all I can come up with is that he wants to bang housewives in their 50’s. That’s who’s watching General Hospital, right? This is the ONE demographic he wasn’t able to reach with projects like Freaks and Geeks, Milk or the Spiderman Trilogy. He could have anyone he wanted… college chicks… porn stars… models… gay men; he could’ve had any of them!  But it’s just like an interesting man like this to be into the one demographic that was paying him no love: menopausal ladies. If you think my theory holds no water, ask yourself what film he did just after he started popping up in the hospitals of Port Charles… Eat, Pray, Love! Case closed. Let’s just say I wouldn’t put money on Annette Benning to take home an Oscar, but I’m guessing her host will have a consolation prize for her in the way of face suckage.

PS. You think we could lobby to get the term switched to “he’s a real James of all trades”…?!

 

Dear Natalie Portman…

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

The Natalie Portman ballet thriller Black Swan is in the process of breaking all kinds of records at the box office.  I’ll tell ya, I’ve been saying for years that there’s an untapped market out there of folks who want to see pretty ballerinas AND morbid psychodramatics.  Finally someone paid attention!  I’m pretty excited to see it and, surprise surprise, once my boyfriend heard about the lesbian love scene between Mila Kunis and NatPort the “creepy ballerina movie” became a lot more interesting to him.  Maybe Hollywood should take note of this phenomenon… add some lesbian lip locking and a would be “Girls Night Out” movie suddenly turns into a “Date Night” flick.  A little girl-on-girl action in Eat, Pray Love 2* perhaps?

* Please don’t let there be an Eat, Pray Love 2.

PS. I would like to take a second here and point at that it’s official, Natalie Portman is NOT perfect.  She has effed up toes from years of ballet.  Score for us normal people!