Posts Tagged ‘fiance’

Dear Beyonce..

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

Wow.  Talk about a lot of change going on in my life right now.  There’s a whole new fall TV lineup, Facebook just switched up the newsfeed layout, and oh yeah, I’M ENGAGED!  It’s really pretty awesome — he proposed just last weekend and I’ve already seen us getting closer.  Like yesterday for the first time in our 2 1/2 year relationship he took a shit without closing the bathroom door.  Ahhhh, romance.

I’m planning on being a total Bridezilla (because I’ll do anything for a TV credit) so if anyone over at WeTV is reading… call me!

 

Dear Hugh Hefner…

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

85-year-old horndog Hugh Hefner was dumped by his 25-year-old aspiring pop singer fiancee yesterday, the same day she dropped her first single in iTunes.  Such a CRAZY COINCIDENCE, right?  It almost feels like she was using him to get some publicity for her fledgling music career, but that’s impossible because if anyone is a good judge of character it’s Hugh Hefner.  He loves the sincere, genuine, intelligent, type.

I SAY GOOD FOR THIS CHICK!  Hef was using her for her giant perky knockers and 25-year-old ladyparts and she was using him to get some downloads of the otherwise overwhelmingly unnoteworthy auto-tune mess called Club Queen.  Sounds like a fair trade to me!