Posts Tagged ‘Flo Rida’

Dear Flo Rida…

Thursday, June 9th, 2011

Rapper Flo Rida got busted for drinking and driving at 3:30am this morning.  Police pulled him over after noticing him swerving in his $1,700,000 million Bugatti.  You read correctly — 7 digits.  C-level rapper/one hit wonder Flo Rida has a million plus dollar car.  You guys, I think we’re all in the wrong business (unless I have any rapper readers — you guys are all set.. need any back up singers or posse members?  I’m currently looking to make my way up the rap ladder.)

Seriously, how does he have a $1.7 million car?!?!  Clearly he’s up to something shady — this whole rap career is probably just a cover up for a money laundering business, like those strip mall fortune tellers or Edible Arrangements.  I mean really, Edible Arrangements?  You expect me to believe that that many people are sending $90 arrangements of pineapple and cantaloupe?  There’s no freaking way.  IRS, why don’t you quit sending me scary letters about the $245 I owe you from 2007 and dig into this fruit basket business!