Posts Tagged ‘football’

Dear Clint Eastwood…

Sunday, February 5th, 2012

So I’m watching the Superbowl… just lovin’ life, throwing back some beers, eating 1000′s of calories worth of guacamole and enjoying some high production value commercials with my pals. It was just another fun day of using football as an excuse to eat and drink excessively with friends. Life doesn’t get better than this, right?… until… sandwiched between “wacky” curly haired commercial actors doing spit-takes for no reason and Ferris Bueller bringing me back to my youth, Clint Eastwood appears and brings everyone down. Oh yeah, we’re all broke. Oh yeah, the whole country is pretty much broke. Oh shit, Clint, you’re right, life is just crap. Well thanks. Thanks a lot. Someone get Danica Patrick or that kid from last year with the Darth Vader mask on the horn, America needs them!

Dear Tim Tebow…

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

Holy crap.  Literally.  I’m beyond confused as to why everyone is so opinionated on/fascinated by/won’t shut the hell up about Tim Tebow.  I think he’s gotten more press for talking about Jesus Christ than the actual Jesus Christ would get if he was here today.  If Jesus came back for a Second Coming (or whatever*) He’d probably trend on Twitter for a few days and then something like “#iluvBieber” would knock Him off the charts.

* Second Coming, etc. etc… not sure how all that stuff is supposed to go, I kind of forget… 12 years of Catholic school and you’d think I’d be all over this stuff.  I would like to point out that those nuns at least instilled in me that you have to capitalize “Him.”  Nailed it! Woah. Too soon.

PS.  Two sports posts in a row. That oughta do it for awhile.

Dear Khloe Kardashian-Odom (again!)…

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

I’m not a sports girl.  I’m not that “guy’s girl” who loves to talk about sports (and, in my experience, talk about how she loves to talk about sports and only have guys as friends. FYI, “guy’s girls” out there, all those “pals” of yours are just trying to get in your pants and don’t give a shit what you think about the BCS play-off system. And for the record, I don’t even know what the BCS play-off system is, I had to google “debates in sports” just to write something there.)  I have female friends and we like to talk about things like “Camille’s BFF on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has a lesbian crush on her,” “how many calories are in gin?” and “do you think I can pull off hammer pants?”  So I barely even recognized myself when I uttered these words to my fiance yesterday: “hey, did you hear Lamar Odom was traded to the Mavericks?”

That’s right, get your sports gossip here folks.  Lamar is going to Dallas, which means Khloe is going with him, which then implies that Khloe & Lamar Take Texas is already on the 2013 schedule on E!… and I. Can’t. Wait.

Khloe is the koolest member of the klan.  She’s funny and she doesn’t wake up wearing fake eyelashes and a full face of make-up (ah hem, Kim).  And I’m willing to bet that if she and I ever hung out, she’d indulge me in conversations about Camille, gin and hammer pants.