BREAKING NEWS: Musician Jason Mraz and his fiance have called it quits and said fiance is a woman. In all these years of just being vaguely aware of Jason Mraz as that guy who kinda sounds like Jack Johnson but wears lots of fedoras, I had no idea that he was straight.  What kind of straight man takes that much pride in his headwear?  Most straight guys are fairly disgusting and wear old baseball caps that they’ve had since college because they’re “broken in” and they “have personality”.  Yeah they have personality.  The personality of person who no one else wants to hang out with except for you because they’re old, ugly and reek of keg beer.

I often ponder what my life would be like if I was a gay man.  I’d live in West Hollywood, have a small dog named Bette and wear things like white linen pants and “summer” kimonos while effortlessly hosting fabulous gluten-free dinner parties out on the lanai (in my gay man fantasy I have a totally under control wheat allergy).  Pretty killer life, right?  Second to that, however, would be being Rachel Zoe’s son.  He was just born, so the verdict is still out on which way he goes, but oh the fun these two could have if it turns out he’s into dudes.  The shopping!  The styling!  The celebrities!  The totally unnecessary drama about Oscar gowns and fur vests!

Rachel just gave birth to son Skyler.  She and husband Rodger (not a typo, he misspells his own name) say they “LITERALLY could not be happier or more in love with their son”.  I’m sure Skyler is TO DIE FOR and labor was BANANAS and O-M-G the this kid is just SHUTTING IT DOWN with his cuteness.  I hope they make capes, suspenders, low cut V’s, 3 piece suits, bow ties, suede pants, ponchos and seersucker suits in size 0-9 months!