Posts Tagged ‘jerseylicious’

Dear Dave from Storage Wars…

Thursday, December 13th, 2012

Not sure if you all have heard, but there’s a lot of hub bub around the A&E show Storage Wars. Don’t watch Storage Wars?  Email my husband, he’s seen every episode twice, he can get you all caught up.  It’s a reality show about bidding on storage lockers and one of the stars is suing the production because it’s “fake”.  With that in mind, let me tell you all a little tale…

There was a scene two seasons ago on New Jersey salon reality show Jerseylicious that was a game changer for me (hear me out). This chick (Gigi) was sitting at a bar waiting for a blind date to show up. I’m fully in. Like “what’s gonna happen?!… will he be cute?!… maybe this will be the guy that will help her move on from Frankie?!…” ya know, normal fully-into-this-show kinda stuff. And then it hits me: no one else at the bar is talking. They were all mingling like background actors: no talking, no looking at the camera, no coming into the shot.  Upon further inspection, I noticed the lighting and the cameras — 3 different camera angles and the lighting in every shot was perfect.  At a bar.  Perfect lighting. Zero talking.  And that’s when it hit me: THIS IS FAKE!  I’VE BEEN DUPED!  WHO KNOWS IS THERE EVEN IS A GIGI.  WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

What I’m trying to say is: there’s a bare minimum a reality show has to do in order for us all to just go along with it and not question whether it’s “fake” or not.  I want to watch Storage Wars.  My husband is actually ADDICTED to Storage Wars.  But the participants/actors/bidders/whatever-we’re-calling-them keep bringing up the fact that it’s all rigged.  If we had thought about it for more than a second we’d piece that together ourselves (I mean come on, there’s like hidden treasure in every other storage locker).  All I’m looking for in my reality shows is just a semblance of reality.  Is there a locker that has that in it, cause if so, you think I’m gonna bid? YUUUUP!

  

Dear Susan Lucci…

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

Susan Lucci must be spinning in her grave.  Here are the first two things I saw when I turned on my computer today:

Point number one:  I’ve never seen All My Children but there was a summer between my Junior and Senior year in high school when I got really into Days of Our Lives and that’s the same thing, right?  Like exactly the same thing.  Crazy family of good-looking people; a hospital; a scandal; maybe an evil twin; I get it.  I get it, and I think it’s pretty dumb.  But how can I judge when my DVR is full of Russian Dolls and Jerseylicious?  I can’t.  Lucci fans everywhere, sorry for your loss.  With all that spare time why don’t you head over to the Style etwork and see what’s happening with my girls Olivia and Tracy — now that’s some real drama!

Secondly:  Someone over at the CW needs to get fired for thinking we want to see musical chairs — the show.  Screw you guys.  I’d rather watch reruns of All My Children while being waterboarded with acid than give in to something as idiotic as musical chairs. (UNLESS you guys are still casting a host — in that case, please contact my representation.  What a FUN IDEA FOR A SHOW!!!!)