Posts Tagged ‘jwoww’

Dear Charles Barkley…

Monday, January 9th, 2012

If I were to construct the perfect human being out of celebrityparts — this is a little game I play waaaaay more often than is probably normal. This, and the “if I had a baby and had to let one celebrity raise it, who would I give it to?” (BTW, the baby goes to Tim Gunn or Andy Cohen)… Back to the celebrityparts game.  If I were to construct the perfect human being out of celebrityparts, here’s how it would break down:

Legs = Cameron Diaz (they’re like 10 feet long)
Hair = Zooey Deschanel (all I want are successful bangs, is that too much to ask????)
Boobs = Eva Mendes (you’ve never noticed them, right? because they’re not too big, not too small, juuuuust right.)
Arms = Circa 1997 Demi Moore (Navy SEAL arms!) or current day Sarah Jessica Parker or the chick who plays “Tara” on True Blood
Abs = JWoww (at least I didn’t say The Situation)

And now… I’m pleased to announce a new addition to the “Perfect Person from Celebrityparts List” (drum roll pleeeeeeease)…

Head shape = CHARLES BARKLEY!!!!

He looks more like the bobble head Charles Barkley than the bobble head Charles Barkley.  It’s a thing of beauty, it’s perfection, I give you…

ps. I know geometry!