Posts Tagged ‘Kirstie Alley’

Dear Katie Couric…

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

Katie Couric is getting fired from CBS Evening News with Katie Couric (awkward since that’s the name and everything!) because nobody watched her (that’s not exactly how they’re spinning it, but that’s pretty much what went down.) I don’t think the problem was Katie… the problem is that by the time the evening news is on, all the news is old news. When I want the news I do what every tech-savvy person does and check my twitter timeline. Granted, I have to sort through Kim Kardashian’s play-by-play of her trip to the gym and ignore anything Kirstie Alley writes, but eventually I get some news out of someone. Like this morning I saw one of my friends tweet something about Obama releasing his birth certificate. How’s anyone over at CBS Evening News with Katie Couric supposed to compete with that 6 hours from now? Between now and 6:30pm, everybody’s going to hear that Obama released his birth certificate… CBS needs to give that news a little flair… kick it up a notch to get people tuning in. Why not do a crafts segment on how to make an origami swan out of your own birth certificate? Libyan rebels asking U.S. military leaders for armor and weapons? How about a DIY segment on how to make military grade explosives out of items laying around your garage?! OR, go a whole different route and add a catfight to the newscast. Have you guys seen the ratings for Real Housewives of New York? Through the roof! One of the most noticeable differences to me between CBS Evening News with Katie Couric and RHWoNY is the lack of catfights. Get Meredith Viera on the set one night… launch a glass of red one at her face… ratings gold! (Just ask Bravo)

Dear Kirstie Alley…

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

Kirstie Alley is currently competing on Dancing With the Stars and in totally shocking news — I’m not watching.  I pretty much exclusively watch shitty reality television, so the fact that I’ve saved myself these three (really?) hours a week is highly uncharacteristic.  Maybe I’m finally growing up?  Maybe my tastes are at last becoming a little more sophisticated?  I’ll noodle over those questions after I get done powering through the two saved episodes of The Real Housewives of Orange County and one Jersey Shore Reunion that I’ve got on my DVR.

So Kirstie rumba’d her ass all the way down to the floor… big whoop!  That’s what happens when you put a Jose Conseco-sized woman in 4” heels and tell her to spin around in circles.  My thoughts go out to any small bugs or mites that may have been in her way when she came tumbling down, as well as the hard working men and women who will undoubtedly be sanding and shellacking that floor for the next 24 hours to get the giant dent out of it.