Posts Tagged ‘Lady Gaga’

Dear Madonna…

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

There are lots of reasons to dislike Madonna, like her British accent, the fact that she kidnapped a baby from Malawi and all of Ray of Light.  Add this to the list!…


Here’s the real question:  how long until Lady Gaga publicly denounces hydrangeas??

Dear Eminem…

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Eminem has just passed Lady Gaga as the world’s most popular living person on Facebook.  I’ll be honest, I think it has less to do with his latest CD and more to do with that Chrysler ad.  Have you guys seen it?  Making Detroit look look anything less than straight up terrifying — that takes some skill.  He already won a Grammy this year, is there time for the Oscars to add a new category: “Best Lead in a Commercial”?  I mean let’s face it, Detroit is a total shit hole.  It’s like a bigger, dirtier Buffalo — but at least Buffalo has good wings.  Detriot’s got nothing other than, uh, hmmmm, well… I really wanted to put something good right here and after 3 minutes of staring at my computer screen I can’t seem to think of a single thing.  Yet somehow you throw Eminem behind the wheel of a Chrysler and score it with some pulsating “8 Mile” tunes and I’m over here rooting for Detroit like it’s an ugly 3-year old on Toddlers & Tiaras or the homeless son of an addict on Idol.  Let’s go Detroit!!

PS. Just discovered one good thing about Detroit: they’re erecting a life size statue of Robocop downtown. Ok ok Detroit, sheesh! You win!

Dear Miley Cyrus (again!)…

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

GQ just published an interview with Billy Ray Cyrus in which he says Hannah Montana ruined his family. I’m not sure why they didn’t come back to him with the more pressing question: and what, pray tell, ruined Hannah Montana?  (ANS: the McDonald’s Value Menu) Check out this recent pic of Miley:

I think what we’re witnessing here is a perfect storm of weight gain, the the fatty trifecta:
1. the notorious “freshman 15” — apparently not just for college kids anymore!
2. stress eating — her parents are getting divorced and it’s all her fault! (seriously, her dad just told GQ: her fault!)
3. the munchies

If I took anything away from the Grammy’s (other than Gaga does a killer rendition of Madonna’s “Express Yourself”) it’s that Jennifer Hudson has bottomed out on the weight loss; nothing left to lose there. Maybe Weight Watchers and Miley should have a little chat about a) potential spokesperson duties and b) how many points are in that bag of Doritos she’s undoubtedly downing at 3 in the morning after a few hits of salvia*.

* Suuuuuuuuuuuure, “salvia”

Dear Victoria Beckham…

Friday, November 12th, 2010

I cannot believe I’m putting it out there that I’m a fan of Victoria Beckham.  Until today I had always found so many reasons dislike her.  The incomprehensible girth of her thighs, for example.  I mean come on.  So it shocked me to read that she’s finally done something that I can fully get behind… she talked shit about Lady Gaga’s wardrobe.  Atta girl, Vicky!  Way to use your bitchy Posh Spice powers for good!

Gaga’s music?  Beyond catchy.  I’ve had “Poker Face” stuck in my head for nearly two years now.  Her outfits?  Straight up ludicrous.  In lieu of a stylist, it seems she just randomly opens a dictionary and wears the first word she sees.  “Lobsters”?  Perfect!  “Bubbles”?  Sounds great!

I made a video about this phenomenon a few months ago.  You guys sit down and watch this piece of editing slop.  I need to mail this letter fast so I can get back to disliking Victoria Beckham (She’s solely responsible for the popularity of the asymmetric bob.  See, there’s another… I’m telling you, it’s an endless list).

Lady Got Hats from Julia Lillis on Vimeo.