Posts Tagged ‘Mila Kunis’

Dear Macaulay Culkin…

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

Yesterday Macaulay Culkin got dumped by his girlfriend Mila Kunis and the whole world collectively said “she was dating him?!”  Amazingly enough, yes.  For 7 years.

Macaulay Culkin’s face (the creepy adult version, not the adorable 10-year-old version) should be affixed like a warning label to every child acting studio.  Go ahead, take your dumb kid to acting classes and commercial auditions and improv lessons and he may even get the lead role in a blockbuster movie and attain worldwide fame by age 11 but just watch out because before you know it he’s pushing 30, making a cameo appearance on WWE Raw at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis* and only trending on twitter because he got dumped by the chick from That 70’s Show.  Yeah, much better plan than “let him play outside like a normal kid”.

* The WWE Raw thing is the last credit listed for Macaulay on Wikipedia.  Seriously.

Dear Natalie Portman…

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

The Natalie Portman ballet thriller Black Swan is in the process of breaking all kinds of records at the box office.  I’ll tell ya, I’ve been saying for years that there’s an untapped market out there of folks who want to see pretty ballerinas AND morbid psychodramatics.  Finally someone paid attention!  I’m pretty excited to see it and, surprise surprise, once my boyfriend heard about the lesbian love scene between Mila Kunis and NatPort the “creepy ballerina movie” became a lot more interesting to him.  Maybe Hollywood should take note of this phenomenon… add some lesbian lip locking and a would be “Girls Night Out” movie suddenly turns into a “Date Night” flick.  A little girl-on-girl action in Eat, Pray Love 2* perhaps?

* Please don’t let there be an Eat, Pray Love 2.

PS. I would like to take a second here and point at that it’s official, Natalie Portman is NOT perfect.  She has effed up toes from years of ballet.  Score for us normal people!