Posts Tagged ‘naked fan mail’

Dear Angus T. Jones…

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

The kid on Two and a Half Men (I believe he plays the role of the “Half”) has become a born again Christian (or something) and is pleading with people to stop watching his show. Done and done. I usually don’t have a ton in common with born again Christians but if they’re new thing is to publicly revolt against bad sitcoms, well… AMEN! Usually child actors have nothing but dumb things to say but this one seems to really have his head on straight! Kudos Angus!

Dear Matt Lauer…

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Everyone hates Matt Lauer. Like seriously, you guys. EVERYONE. Except for me. So I’m standing up for him against some of his fiercest* Twitterenemies.

* The first 4 people who came up when I searched “hate Matt Lauer”.

 

Ted, don’t mean to get all esoteric here, but isn’t that really a chicken and the egg kind of thing? If there was no Matt Lauer, would mindless blather be coming out of his face? And if mindless blather wasn’t coming out of his face, would he really be Matt Lauer? So to answer your question: it’s impossible to hate one or the other since they are interdependent, therefore your question is flawed. Try again.

Notorious P.A.T., your twitter name is as bad as the term “swag pop”. If you’re going to hate Matt you should also hate yourself.

Kelstar, you didn’t necessarily say you hated Matt Lauer but your implication is that he should be more like Kathie Lee and Hoda and I say “cheers to that!”. Can someone at the Today Show please get Matty a 6am glass of Chard? I think we all agree it will do wonders.

Sabby, you had me at Nicolas Cage (duh), but lost me at Norah Jones. Who hates Norah Jones? I’ll tell you who: my ex-boyfriend and he was a real dick. Take a long hard look in the mirror sabby, are you a real dick? If so, maybe Matt Lauer isn’t the problem, maybe the problem is you.

Dear Alec Baldwin (again)…

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

I’ll admit it, I have a huge crush on Alec Baldwin.  He’s sexy, funny, seemingly smart and a total asshole.  And as we all know, chicks love assholes.  Furthermore, occasionally he takes one for the team and stands up for the every man.  Like yesterday when he got thrown off an American Airlines flight because he was in the middle of a game of Words With Friends and wouldn’t turn off his phone.

Here are some facts:
1.  There is no way in hell a little iPhone game has any effect on a plane’s navigation or operating system.
2.  I’m actually not sure about fact #1, but really, is there any way an iPhone game throws off a plane?  NO.
3.  I guess I shouldn’t have started a list of facts if I didn’t have more to offer than #1 and #2.  But come on… there’s NO FREAKING WAY.

So thank you, Alec.  Thanks for bucking the system.  Words With Friends fanatics everywhere applaud you!

Dear loyal readers…

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011