Posts Tagged ‘Natalie Portman’

Dear Benjamin Millepied…

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

All guys have a thing for Natalie Portman.  It’s like it’s embedded in the male DNA or something.  When they describe her, there’s always a mention of the fact that she went to Harvard… which clearly has nothing to do with why guys like her because there’s a shitload of ugly chicks writing research papers and doing advanced calculus in Cambridge each year and none of them have the adoration of the entire male population.

Well I’m sure Scotch is being guzzled and beer is being chugged today as men across the land cope with the news that Natalie Portman is off the market — engaged and impregnated by the most unlikely type of guy — a male ballerina.  It’s kind of like the improbable relationship in Knocked Up.  In the movie, a fat, schlubby, unemployed pot-head hooks up with a successful, has-her-shit-together E! news reporter.  In this real life but just as far-fetched story, a fit, world renowned ballet choreographer and principal dancer at the New York City Ballet hooks up with a world famous, critically acclaimed actress.  Ok, so it’s not exactly the same thing, but seriously… a super hot chick hooking up with a male ballerina?!  I don’t buy it.

Dear Natalie Portman…

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

The Natalie Portman ballet thriller Black Swan is in the process of breaking all kinds of records at the box office.  I’ll tell ya, I’ve been saying for years that there’s an untapped market out there of folks who want to see pretty ballerinas AND morbid psychodramatics.  Finally someone paid attention!  I’m pretty excited to see it and, surprise surprise, once my boyfriend heard about the lesbian love scene between Mila Kunis and NatPort the “creepy ballerina movie” became a lot more interesting to him.  Maybe Hollywood should take note of this phenomenon… add some lesbian lip locking and a would be “Girls Night Out” movie suddenly turns into a “Date Night” flick.  A little girl-on-girl action in Eat, Pray Love 2* perhaps?

* Please don’t let there be an Eat, Pray Love 2.

PS. I would like to take a second here and point at that it’s official, Natalie Portman is NOT perfect.  She has effed up toes from years of ballet.  Score for us normal people!