Posts Tagged ‘Nicki Minaj’

Dear Steven Tyler & Nicki Minaj…

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

American Idol judge Nicki Minaj is pissed at former American Idol judge Steven Tyler because he said (something like) “she’d pass on Bob Dylan if he were on Idol.” So then Nicki said Steven was being racist because… oh I don’t know… does it matter? When’s The Voice on? These people are fucking morons.

 

FOOTNOTE:

For the record…
1. I don’t like Bob Dylan (except that one version where Miley Cyrus is covering him –JUST BEING HONEST!)
AND
2. I am very white (except when I’m about to go to a wedding, then I am very orange – thx for nothing Neutrogena MicroMist Airbrush Selfless Tanner – figure your formula out already).
BUT
3. I had a huge crush on a black guy in college.

I think I put their issue to bed. What should I tackle next, Israel-Palestine?

 

Dear Regis Philbin…

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

Ok first of all, yes, Regis Philbin is still alive.  I know, crazy, right?

So rapper Nicki Minaj was on “Live With Regis and Kelly” the other day Regis straight up started hitting on her, including some awkward clumsy touching and culminating with a tap on the ass (classic move!).

Given that he’s in the twilight of his life, I think it’s refreshing to see that he hasn’t given up on the ladies!  And who knows, maybe he has a shot.  Considering she’s a 25-year-old bisexual Trinidadian hip hop MC at the peak of her career with multicolored hair and lyrics like this…

“How ‘bout I $%& all on your #$@% and then I %$#* it off.

… it seems an unlikely pairing, but as they say, love is blind.  And now that I think of it, Regis is also probably basically blind at this point.  Maybe he wasn’t seducing her, he was just trying to “see” what she looked like by feeling her.  Cataracts are a bitch, ya know.

(I added the dorky %$^# because my dad recently told me he’s been reading my blog.  For the record, dad, I have no idea what Nicki is referring to in the lyrics above because I am an angel.)