Posts Tagged ‘Paula Deen’

Dear Paula Deen…

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Paula Deen has announced that she has Type 2 Diabetes.  Well, there goes my theory.  I’ve been claiming for years that Paula Deen is a robot sent from the future to kill off the entire human race with her deadly snacks.  It made perfect sense until now because obviously robots from the future can’t get diabetes.

Well shit, I guess she’s just a fat old Southern lady who really does like her butter.  Hang in there Paula!  Now that I know you’re not trying to destroy humanity as we know it, I’m totally rooting for you!!!

Dear Paula Deen…

Thursday, November 25th, 2010

Well y’all (Paula’s rubbing off on me), it’s Turkey Day!  It’s days like today when I can’t help but think, “man, I am soooo thankful those Pilgrims came over from wherever they came from and did whatever they did and the Indians they met were cool and were like ‘heeeey, I’ve got this cornucopia here, let’s party!’’, or whatever.

Seriously though… I think I had really bad history teachers in middleschool.

I’m already prepping for a big day of feasting… got my eatin’ pants on (you don’t want to know, but surprise surprise, they’ve been deemed “not sexy” by my boyfriend)… and I know exactly where I’m going to hide my secret stash of stuffing so that when the gang polishes off what’s on the table I’ve got a big helping of seconds waiting for me in the crisper drawer (shhh).

Happy Thanksgiving!