Russell Brand was deported from Japan this morning because he has a criminal record in England.  First of all, I can’t believe anyone takes the UK legal system seriously.  They still have kings and queens over there, let’s get real.  Secondly, can we all agree that Katy Perry officially has the coolest problems of anyone in the world? While the rest of us are just bummed that it’s Monday (and a handful of nutjobs are disappointed that they weren’t magically sucked into Heaven over the weekend to hang with baby Jesus and laugh at us heathens), Katy’s issue today is this: her mega successful movie star comedian husband can’t get into the country of Japan to see her on the latest stop of her sold out worldwide tour.  Boo hoo.  She’s been tweeting all day about it.  Listen Katie, the rest of us have real shit going on…  I’ve got a left tail light has been out for three months, my neighbor lets her dog shit all over my front lawn, my DVR didn’t pick up the Celebrity Apprentice finale last night (no spoilers! I’ll watch it online, ugh), and out of the 4 Precor machines I use at the gym, two of them are currently out of order.  (I know, I know, my life is really tough.)