Posts Tagged ‘racist’

Dear Steven Tyler & Nicki Minaj…

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

American Idol judge Nicki Minaj is pissed at former American Idol judge Steven Tyler because he said (something like) “she’d pass on Bob Dylan if he were on Idol.” So then Nicki said Steven was being racist because… oh I don’t know… does it matter? When’s The Voice on? These people are fucking morons.



For the record…
1. I don’t like Bob Dylan (except that one version where Miley Cyrus is covering him –JUST BEING HONEST!)
2. I am very white (except when I’m about to go to a wedding, then I am very orange – thx for nothing Neutrogena MicroMist Airbrush Selfless Tanner – figure your formula out already).
3. I had a huge crush on a black guy in college.

I think I put their issue to bed. What should I tackle next, Israel-Palestine?


Dear John Galliano…

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

Back in February, eccentric British fashion designer John Galliano was arrested in France for making come crazy anti-Semitic comments in a bar.  He went to court yesterday and tried to blame it on being drunk.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve used total wastedness as an excuse for a lot of things:  making out with a homeless dude (“but guys, he’s soooooo hot!”), sending several regrettable drunk texts that included the line “you’re my soulmate”, and even mistaking the crisper drawer in my fridge for a toilet (true story.  I wiped with broccoli)… but never have I referenced Hitler in a positive light or ranted about the supremacy of the Aryan race.  You know why?  Because although I have questionable decision-making skills and a low alcohol tolerance, I’m not a racist asshole.  John, next time you’re about to open your mouth, try sucking face with a dirty shoeless man whose house is a shopping cart — much better plan.