Posts Tagged ‘The Facts of Life’

Dear Mindy Cohn…

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

Strange-but-true-fact:  Mindy Cohn aka Natalie Green aka the fat one from maybe the best thing  to ever come out of the ‘80s (other than Hungry, Hungry Hippos), The Facts of Life, is the godmother of Brangelia’s twins.  Weird, right?  That’s a rhetorical question because obviously it’s like the weirdest shit ever.  Well I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything (yes I do), but as of this past weekend I’m proud to say that I  have something in common with my chubby friend (other than our mutual affinity for Ding Dongs) — I am also a godmother!  At first I didn’t think I was going to cut it considering Sunday Mass hasn’t been on my list of things to do for about a decade now and I’m currently living in sin with a Jew who thinks Jesus was just “some guy”.  Luckily I had my 12 years of Catholic School training to tell me that I shouldn’t bring that stuff up at the Baptism.  The priest was all, “do you accept your duties as a godmother?” and I was all “hell yeah!!”… there was some incense, a little holy water, a couple crying babies and voila — I’m a godmother.  Let the spoiling of Tabitha Drew begin!!

Dear George Clooney…

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

George Clooney is teaming up with the United Nations and Google to launch satellites above the country of Sudan that will keep an eye on the border between north and south Sudan and try to prevent a civil war.  No, not a plot from a movie starring George Clooney — that’s actually what George Clooney is up to right now.

First Angelina, now George.  Hey United Nations, you guys realize that actors are just really good looking people who memorize words that someone else wrote for them, right?  Aren’t there more qualified folks out there… some nerds who were studying foreign policy in the 80’s rather than playing a handyman on The Facts of Life?  I heard Snooki has some opinions on the non-proliferation of nuclear weapons in North Korea, why don’t you guys give her a call!