Posts Tagged ‘TMZ’

Dear Lindsay Lohan…

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

Well look who’s the little go-getter: Lindsay Lohan just signed a deal to pose for Playboy for a cool $1 million.

I’m confused — seriously.  So Playboy thinks that people will actually pay money to see her naked?  Huh.  Interesting hypothesis they’ve got over there.  If I’m ever faced with an image of a naked Lindsay Lohan, I think I’ll shell out cash NOT to see it.  If her baby-maker has aged as horribly as her face has it’s got to be TERRIFYING looking — that’s one beat up fire-crotch that will haunt you forever.

 

Dear Miley Cyrus…

Monday, December 13th, 2010

A video of Miley Cyrus getting stoned on Salvia surfaced recently and her dad went to twitter to comment on it, because that’s normal.  He said “Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. I’m so sad.”  You’d expect someone named Billy Ray Cyrus to be more of a “I’m gonna take y’out back and whip you with a hickory stick” kind of dad and less or a passive aggressive tweeter.  I guess his long flowing locks and 90’s goatee should’ve tipped me off that he was a pussy but this puts an ends to the discussion.  Go see what else you can get away with, Miley!!

Also, on an unrelated note, I’m STILL out sailing the Atlantic.  No Jack Sparrow in sight, however Bermuda is in sight — land ho!  My fan mail today is blurry because I took a shot of it while  we were bouncing around in some giant waves.  I’m just happy it’s not covered in remnants of my seasickness.