Posts Tagged ‘tour’

Dear Russell Brand…

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

Russell Brand was deported from Japan this morning because he has a criminal record in England.  First of all, I can’t believe anyone takes the UK legal system seriously.  They still have kings and queens over there, let’s get real.  Secondly, can we all agree that Katy Perry officially has the coolest problems of anyone in the world? While the rest of us are just bummed that it’s Monday (and a handful of nutjobs are disappointed that they weren’t magically sucked into Heaven over the weekend to hang with baby Jesus and laugh at us heathens), Katy’s issue today is this: her mega successful movie star comedian husband can’t get into the country of Japan to see her on the latest stop of her sold out worldwide tour.  Boo hoo.  She’s been tweeting all day about it.  Listen Katie, the rest of us have real shit going on…  I’ve got a left tail light has been out for three months, my neighbor lets her dog shit all over my front lawn, my DVR didn’t pick up the Celebrity Apprentice finale last night (no spoilers! I’ll watch it online, ugh), and out of the 4 Precor machines I use at the gym, two of them are currently out of order.  (I know, I know, my life is really tough.)

Dear Joey McIntyre…

Friday, November 19th, 2010

Oh 5th grade… each night I kissed Joey McIntyre’s 2-D face and caressed his papery biceps, then hopped into bed and fell asleep to the dulcet tones of “Please Don’t Go Girl”.  But then again, who didn’t?  So it was such a joy for me to see Joey and his band of boys in the news* yesterday.  The New Kids and the Backstreet Boys have just announced that they’re kicking off their 2011 tour at the American Music Awards this Sunday.

Now I’ve already established that I’m a fan — a real die-hard Joey Mac devotee — which is why I hate to admit that I’m probably going to sit this one out.  I just don’t think I can handle another “Sex & The City 2″ moment… you know, that moment when you’re watching people you used to love and all of a sudden you realize that wow, all these people are really old, and then it hits you that you’re getting old too because Sarah Jessica Parker looked downright scary in some of those scenes and you think, holy shit, I remember when Carrie was fresh-faced and wide-eyed and didn’t look like a chic Skeletor then you’re like fuuuuuuck I’m getting old and then Aiden comes into the picture and you’re like, oh for fuck’s sake, but at least he looks good… then the girls come back on screen and remind you of your own impending mortality.

All that being said, good luck NKOTB!  I wish I could Hang Tough because I’m sure you fellas have still Got the Right Stuff, but I’ll Be Loving You Forever from afar this time around.

* Does PerezHilton count as “the news”?