Posts Tagged ‘Two and a Half Men’

Dear John Stamos…

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Wow.  Big day for my childhood crushes!  First I read that John Stamos might replace Charlie Sheen on Two Douchebags and a Kid in an Awkward Phase, then I find out that Ralph Macchio still exists.  What has he been doing all these years?  Just holed up in a house in the hills living off that sweet Karate Kid coin?!

John Stamos, no.  Just no.  The horrific vertical color block bowling shirts.  The super cheesy this-is-what-a-bachelor-pad-in-Malibu-looks-like set.  The horrible sitcomy lines like:

Lyndsey: I think you underestimate your brother.
Charlie: Oh, it’s not an estimate. I already got the bill.

The terrible laugh track inserted after the horrible lines.  You’re so much better than this!  Stick to the things you’re good at, like Elvis impersonations and aging gracefully (uhhhh, he’s FORTY SEVEN and beautiful…. seriously, he’s giving Clooney a run for his money in the aging game).

In other childhood obsession news: Ralph Macchio will be on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. If he thought those Cobra Kai douches bullied him before, wait until they get a load of him doing the Paso Doble.

Now if I could just get Kirk Cameron back in the news for something I’d have the ultimate childhood heartthrob trifecta!