Posts Tagged ‘Weight Watchers’

Dear Miley Cyrus (again!)…

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

GQ just published an interview with Billy Ray Cyrus in which he says Hannah Montana ruined his family. I’m not sure why they didn’t come back to him with the more pressing question: and what, pray tell, ruined Hannah Montana?  (ANS: the McDonald’s Value Menu) Check out this recent pic of Miley:

I think what we’re witnessing here is a perfect storm of weight gain, the the fatty trifecta:
1. the notorious “freshman 15” — apparently not just for college kids anymore!
2. stress eating — her parents are getting divorced and it’s all her fault! (seriously, her dad just told GQ: her fault!)
3. the munchies

If I took anything away from the Grammy’s (other than Gaga does a killer rendition of Madonna’s “Express Yourself”) it’s that Jennifer Hudson has bottomed out on the weight loss; nothing left to lose there. Maybe Weight Watchers and Miley should have a little chat about a) potential spokesperson duties and b) how many points are in that bag of Doritos she’s undoubtedly downing at 3 in the morning after a few hits of salvia*.

* Suuuuuuuuuuuure, “salvia”

Dear Ginnifer Goodwin…

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

Ginnifer Goodwin is an actress who I’ve never seen in anything, spells her name like a dumb ass and has that kind of short short hair that makes you just say “oh come on, really?”.  So far, these qualities don’t scream “send this chick fan mail”, however, today I read that she’s been on Weight Watchers since she was 9.  I find nothing more endearing than fat kids and no one more relatable than a woman on a diet.  Ginnifer, I’m a fan.

I did Weight Watchers once — I had just moved to northern California and had no friends, and who makes better friends than fat people?  So I started going to Weight Watchers meetings.  They’ve got a whole system of allotting point values to the food you consume throughout the day… you add up all your food and then subtract out points for exercise, and don’t forget to carry over the extra points from the day before… it’s a lot of algebra.  So in case dieting alone didn’t suck enough, Weight Watchers adds math.  Super!

I didn’t end up sticking with the program.  Mostly because I hate diets but also because it turns out not all fat people are friendly, especially those ladies in the Monday night Weight Watchers meeting in Seaside, CA in September 2002.  F you girls.  I hope you’re all still heifers.