Posts Tagged ‘Will and Kate’

Dear Kate Middleton…

Friday, July 8th, 2011

THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!  THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!  If you haven’t heard the news: Will and Kate are coming to L.A. today!!! Will it be like when Obama came and all traffic was at a standstill for 3 days?!  Which happened to fall on an afternoon when I had to drive the 9 and a half miles from Santa Monica to West Hollywood and it took four hours?!  And take 2 pee breaks?!  And a stop for provisions?!

Oh we can only hope!

Listen, I’ve already made it known on here that I think most of what goes on in England is a crock of shit (meat pie? really? how do you F up PIE?!?!), but I’ll give ‘em this: that was a damn good wedding.  Here’s wishing Will and Kate a fun trip to my fair city!  And here’s hoping they leave before becoming a douchebag and insecure with body issues, respectively.

Dear Prince Harry…

Friday, April 29th, 2011

I have to admit, I loved every second of that damn wedding. The lacy gown (who says deep-V’s are just for hipsters?!), the wacky-ass hats (how Gaga!), the men in uniform (hellooooo Harry!), the inexplicable trees in the church (wtf?), the little boys singing (keep the pedophiles away!), … I cried like 4 different times. I remember my mom telling me about watching Princess Di’s wedding; she woke up early along with the rest of the world to see the People’s Princess take her vows. Well someday I’ll tell be able to tell my kids that I woke up around 10am the day after Will and Kate’s wedding and watched it hungover on DVR as gay men gave me the play-by-play. My coverage of choice for the big occasion was TLC. I figured any network that can pull off three different versions of Say Yes To The Dress (original, Atlanta, and Big Bliss — for fat chicks!) could do a bang up job covering the wedding of the century and they didn’t let me down. Clinton Kelly offered live commentary in a studio in London with lip readers, body language specialists, wedding experts, gown designers, Ivana Trump (because she’s rich?), Rupert Everett (because he’s been in movies about weddings?) plus color commentators at Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace and (for some reason) Times Square. What a celebration!! Congrats Will and Kate! Although the entire convention of a monarchy seems like a tasteless waste of money and an undemocratic show of unearned power and privilege, I’m sure you guys will make a lovely King and Queen someday!!