Stacy Keibler is dating George Clooney. Yeah. THAT Stacy Kiebler. The one who was a PRO WRESTLER. So either she has a great personality or she’s really good in the kitchen (and by kitchen I mean bedroom). The problem is, normal girls like me can’t compete with her bedroom prowess… she’s a trained professional when it comes to wacky out-of-the-box antics. I bet she’s smashing break-away chairs over his head and doing back handsprings in her sexy nightie. Now that’s foreplay!
Macho Man Randy Savage died today after losing control of his car while suffering a heart attack. The news hit me harder than one might imagine because… little known fact about Julia Lillis: I was once a huge WWF fan. HUGE! I saw Macho Man Randy Savage live and in person at the Erie Civic Center in the early ‘90’s. He was feuding with Jake the Snake Roberts at the time so obviously I was torn. I love a macho man, but I was seduced by Jake and his boa constrictor. Macho Man was crazy and exuberant, while Jake was dark and intense. It’s the classic quandary that women the world over are faced with all throughout their lives: ride high with the wild child or fall hard for the man of mystery. Was this Wrestlemania or was Vince MacMahon giving me a lesson in love? I chose Macho Man then and I’d chose him again if I was given the choice right now. Macho Man, you will be missed. Ooooooh yeah!!!!!
Last night Snooki brought her fun-loving meatball antics to WWE’s WrestleMania 27 as part of the Brunette Mafia and proved that she’s more than just a horny, gorilla juicehead-chasing guidette with a drinking problem… she’s an athlete. Who knew?! (Also something I didn’t know — the WWE still exists.)
I’m no physics whiz, but the feats Snookems managed to perform seem to defy gravity. Isn’t there something in one of Newton’s Laws of Motion that indicates a beer keg of a body shouldn’t be able to flip and soar effortlessly through the air? Back flips, round offs, tumbling across the mat like there’s a guido meathead on the other side who she’s trying to get to… looks to me like Snookers has got some serious skills! Based on my very limited knowledge of what it takes to be an Olympic gymnast (I saw a Lifetime movie about it once), I think Snickers could do it! She’s got the moves, the confidence and she could teach those girls a thing or two about tanning.
PS. Gatorade, you might want to get started on a Ron Ron Juice flavor.