Posts Tagged ‘Jeopardy’

Dear Alex Trebek…

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Alex Trebek snapped his Achilles tendon this week when he attempted to chase down a burglar who had stolen cash and a bracelet from his San Fran hotel room.  Apparently he woke up in the middle of the night and saw this ballsy burglaress snooping through his stuff.  The crazy thing is, from the sounds of it, she didn’t know whose room she was burglarizing.

Ok, let’s just imagine for a sec: you’re a robber.  You sneak into a random hotel room and pocket all the cash you see.  Oh look, there’s a man’s bracelet.  What the hell, you take that too.  You tip toe out of the room and think you’re in the clear when all of a sudden you have none other than ALEX TREBEK, yes, THE Alex Trebek chasing after you!!

I’ve never stolen anything but trust me, if I knew which hotel room Alex Trebek was in, and I knew how to break into a hotel room… I’d be all over that shit!  He’s a legend!  He’s a genius! And he’s apparently not an athlete.

Stay frosty, Alex.  I’m lurking.

Dear Ken Jennings…

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

Ken Jennings and some other smart guy have finished Day 1 of their Jeopardy battle against IBM’s artificial intelligence computer, Watson, who is currently tied for the lead. Ummmmm, I’m sorry but who do these a-holes over at IBM think they are? We’re purposely trying to make computers smarter than people now? Is that the plan? And then you’re gonna have one of them publicly humiliate the one guy we’ve collectively decided is the smarted out of all us humans? These computer nerds have gone and lost their damn minds! May I suggest a company-wide screening of The Terminator? Just gather everyone up in a big conference room and watch what happens.

Listen IBM, you’re thinking too hard about this whole computer thing. People just want computers to be able to do what they’re made for — check facebook. Beyond that it’s gravy. Why don’t you fellas leave work early today, go back to your mom’s basement and get into some D&D with your buddies and we’ll see if we can’t get Alex Trebek to pull the plug on ol’ Watson before he gains self-awareness and starts launching nuclear missiles at Russia.