Posts Tagged ‘The Bachelor’

Dear Justin Bieber…

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

Justin Bieber rented out the Staples Center and took girlfriend Selena Gomez there to watch Titanic together over the weekend (just me or did they do this in an episode of The Bachelor?? If not, I’m sure Chris Harrison is taking notes).

I disagree with so much of what Justin Bieber does: his silly haircut… his ridiculous line of nail polish… his creepy relationship with the least relevant singer ever, Usher.  Add this little stunt to the list.

I’m not being mean, I’m being empathetic.  Think of all the teenage guys out there who have to save up all their paper route money just to take their lady-friend out for a night of Olive Garden and 2nd base*.  Well fellas, the bar has been raised.

* Am I too easy?  What can I say, I’m a sucker for all-you-can-eat breadsticks.

Dear Brad Womack…

Friday, January 21st, 2011

Brad Womack, whose abs I’m currently enjoying on a weekly basis as the latest star of The Bachelor, let the news leak this week that he’s got a shady (read: sexy) past.  Fake IDs, public intoxication, forged checks… well hello there Mr. Mysterious!  All this time I thought he was just a boring goody two shoes with a six pack and a dumb southern accent. Next time he’s on the market (like, as soon as this made-for-TV Bachelor relationship fizzles out), and he’s back on the prowl hunting down single ladies, he needs to lead with “public intoxication”.  Or maybe “CheckForger123” should be his profile name.  Bad boys are sexy! Just look at Julian Assange or that one Jonas brother who’s always wearing black leather jackets. Yum!